Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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