Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
