ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got inside last night via doggy door
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
