i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
