Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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