soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
