no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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