i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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