why didn't you poke me back
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm passing your future prison.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
