I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
