She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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