Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
