Non-Jews are for practice
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
