Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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