Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
