Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
