is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
