I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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