i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
