I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
