i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
