i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
