I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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