his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
