I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
