I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
