I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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