in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
