what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
