Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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