And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
