There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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