Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
