If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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