Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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