Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
