i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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