Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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