so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have post one night stand depression
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