I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
