Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
