She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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