2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
