i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
