"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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