Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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