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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wait... oh

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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• (845): View more from New York

  i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.

  (917): View more from New York City

  That's how he does EVERYTHING!

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"

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• (631): View more from New York

  It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.

  (516): View more from New York

  this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.

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