in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
