Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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