I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
