its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.