I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants