i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.