i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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