Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
