My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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