By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
