You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
