the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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