Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
