dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
