My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
