Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
