My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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