You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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