Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
