I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
