she woke up with a sticky ear
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
