:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
