If that was your dad, he is hot
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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