Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
