I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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