you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
